


conscience

by opensummer



Series: drabbles [4]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Gen, Season/Series 01
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-01
Updated: 2014-10-01
Packaged: 2018-02-19 12:30:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2388287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/opensummer/pseuds/opensummer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All thoughts lead to John. Even when they don't. Series one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	conscience

Drugs? Drugs are easy. Cocaine in your veins and you can think. It clears the static your head makes you as clear and precise as you were meant to be. No room for human error in them.

Mycroft is harder. Thinks he has rights, to command, guilt and control. You hate him for that. Commanding the whole world and forgetting he can't command you. Mycroft is uncomfortable when all factors are not under his control. Always too clever by half but Mycroft is even cleverer and he knows how to hide it.

It being the condition of sociopathy. One of your doctors called it psychopathy. His analysis was flawed. Embrace it. Normal is boring. It allows you freedom, because caring does nobody any good.

You're not out to save the world. Just don't want to be bored anymore.

Lestrade wants so badly for you to be a good man. It's the only reason he runs those foolish little drug busts of his. As if you'd leave them where they could be found. Forgive him for them quicker if he didn't insist on bringing Anderson along.

Anderson irritates you. Stumbling around in the dark pretending to know things. Stupid and just as blind as the rest of the world. At least Lestrade is clever enough to listen.

Mrs. Hudson listens. And makes tea and fusses at you. After three weeks she can take your peculiarities in stride. After four she orders you to her table twice a week for dinner. You think mummy would have liked her.

Mummy would have liked John too. John understands. Static in your head and listening and tea and sociopathy. His tea is even better the Mrs. Hudson's.

Correction: You thought John understood. Falsified evidence. No, inaccurate. Assumption. Assumption without basis. Sloppy.

He's off to Sarah's. Retreating. Illusions in shreds. You watch him go. Never a good liar. Not even to yourself. John makes you want to be a good man. Haven't wanted anything, except a cigarette, since you were eight.

Sentimental. Not what you need right now. The text is already composed. Just needed John gone to send it. Away from you is equivalent to safety currently. John will come back. An equally sentimental thought. Let them go.

You have a game to play.


End file.
